One thing we can generalize about mentally strong people is that they invest time to learn about themselves and how they are mentally and physically structured. By doing so they are more able to control their thoughts, emotions, and behavior in order to obtain success in their pursuits in life.
From a certain perspective, we are more defined by what we don’t do rather than by what we do. And that is exactly the subject of Amy Morin’s book: 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do. She writes that a strong mind development must be approached on these exact three fronts: thoughts, emotions, and behavior.
Basically what Morin emphasizes is that mentally strong people steer clear of negative behavior like feeling sorry for themselves, living in the past, and being resentful for other people’s achievements.
Here are some of the things that the mentally strong abstain from:
1. They don't waste time feeling sorry for themselves.
According to Morin, feeling sorry for yourself is a waste of time, besides creating negative emotions and hurting your relationships. Instead, one should focus on gratitude. It’s a basic deal, trade self pity for thankfulness.
2. They don't give away their power.
When people lack physical and emotional boundaries they give away their power. Standing up for yourself is imperative and you need to draw a line when necessary. You need to establish clear goals and taking charge of your life will prevent others from doing so.
3. They don't shy away from change.
Morin writes that there are five stages of change: precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance. It’s critical that all stages are pursued and the longer the wait, the more difficult it gets.
4.They don’t focus on things they can’t control.
Trying to be in control of everything is likely a response to anxiety, according to the book. It’s like you are trying to control the environment rather than your own agitation. Getting your attention off of things you can’t control will result in feelings of happiness, less stress, better relationships and more opportunities.
5.They don’t worry about pleasing everyone.
Evaluating yourself based on other people’s opinions is the opposite of mental strength. Trying to please people all the time puts ourselves in a vulnerable position, where we can be easily manipulated.
Just like going to the gym, exercising mental strength demands hard work and change of habits. Incorporating a new uplifting attitude towards life will make us stronger to deal with life's setbacks. And still according to the author, mental strength has more to do with feeling empowered than acting tough. Read about more about other things people who are mentally strong don’t do here.