The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself. -Michel de Montaigne
We live in a hyper-connected world. Unlike past generations (unlike 10 years ago, even), our world is constantly filled with the noises and notifications of new ‘likes’, ‘snaps’, and updates, of course from friends and family but also from neighbors, strangers, and even games and applications. We rarely spend time disconnected anymore, which means we even more rarely spend any time alone, ever. And being hyperconnected in this way can actually have some pretty negative effects on our mental health, productivity, and relationships. The good news? There’s an easy fix - spend some time alone. Completely by yourself and disconnected.
Sounds simple, right? But it’s actually not as easy to do as it is to think about anymore, and because of that we’re missing out on many of the benefits that solitude offers us. If going to the movies by yourself sounds awkward or downright scary, take a look at some of the greatest benefits of solitude we could find online. They might just change your mind and inspire you to take some time on your own.
(And just in case you really don’t know where to start, we’ve included a couple of tips to help you enjoy your alone time, too.)
The Benefits of Solitude
Mental Clarity and Recharge
Solo time helps you unwind from the stresses of day-to-day life and recharge your energy, and with that, you can find mental clarity. Even extroverts needs some time to recharge, and the mental clarity you get from spending time on your own can help you remember your values your goals, and even reassess your priorities and sleep better. All good things to look forward to!
Increased Productivity
With that recharge and mental clarity, of course, when you do get back to work or house chores or whatever it is you’re working on, you’ll probably find that you’ve got new energy to tackle the stickiest of problems and overall, you can be more productive with your time. Periodically giving yourself a chance to reboot has much longer effects than you might think and can help you get in touch with your creative side in your projects, if that’s what’s been missing.
Learn to Trust Yourself, and Your Emotions
Do you actually laugh out loud every time you write it? Or do you actively feel happy every time you ‘like’ something? If you’re like us, probably not. But engaging in all of these activities can mask your real emotions and keep them at a distance from your everyday lived reality. Being constantly bombarded by the opinions of others makes it hard to trust your own opinion, but being on your own means you pretty much have to trust yourself...which might just be the practice you need to trust yourself even when bombarded with everyone else’s opinions.
You Can Do Whatever You Want
You know that movie you’ve really been wanting to see, the one your friends think is too sappy (or too action-y) and your significant other will probably just fall asleep during? We don’t always realize the extent to which we make compromises when we plan out our time. While we’re all for compromising so everyone is happy, it’s also worth it to spend some time on your own when you don’t have to make compromises with anyone else. The day (or hour, or week) gets to be exactly what you want it to be. Don’t compromise. Treat yourself.
You Stop Doing Things to Make Others Happy
...and…
You Stop Looking for Validation from Others
More than just compromise, lots of us spend a good amount of time doing things either to make others happy (self-sacrificing) or looking for validation from others that we’re doing the right/best/socially acceptable thing (living in insecurity). If any of this sounds familiar, it probably applies at least to a little extent, but in solitude neither is possible. It can help you get out of the habit and learn to have confidence in your own self and actions.
You Can Actually Focus on Your Relationships
Counterintuitive though it may be, the mental health benefits listed above that you get from spending some time in solitude all make you a healthier person overall...which means the time you spend with others is higher quality time, too. When you’re a healthier person, your relationships have the potential to become healthier too...not to mention the fact that you’ll remember why you like spending time with others to begin with!
How to Be Alone
It seems a little funny to include ‘instructions’ for alone time, but in a world where everyone is so connected all the time, we figured it can’t hurt. If you need some help figuring out how to enjoy being alone, here are some handy reminders. Try these at least once a week (and as much as once a day, if you’re lucky enough to have the time):
- Make a sign/close the door/let others around you know: You’re not going to get any worthwhile alone time if you keep getting interrupted. Let others know what’s going on, and it’ll force you to stick with your plan too.
- Unplug: Turn your computer off, put your phone on silent, drop the remote, and shield anything that has a screen. Prioritize yourself, and not your profile.
- Meditate: Meditation is a learned skill, and it’s an incredibly healthy one. Even 5 minutes of alone time meditating can make a huge difference in your day.
- Spend time in nature: Nature is incredibly nourishing, and there are always things to do. Spend time hiking, swimming, or even just taking a walk on your own. You’ll feel better.
- Do something that makes you feel good: Whether it’s exercising or taking a nice, long bubble bath, schedule in some time to do something to help your body feel good. It’ll also help you look forward to alone time next time.
- Take yourself out on a date: We’re serious - schedule a date and time, get a little spiffy (if you want), and treat yourself the way you’d treat someone else you’re taking out on a date. Splurge for a fancy restaurant, reservation for 1. Go see a movie. Tell yourself how good you look, and treat yourself. You deserve it!
