We are all looking for happiness, even though defining happiness can be a controversial matter. But today, even some economists suggest that happiness isn’t directly related to money and material acquisitions, and many agree that happiness is a much better evidence of the development of a society than income is.
It’s hard to define happiness, but one can certainly tell the things that makes them happy from those that prevent satisfying experiences and contentment.
Few people will disagree that money is important in order for us to feel better about ourselves and life in general. We all have basic needs that need to be met, and it’s hardly possible to survive today without it. Even if we are romantic and creative enough to dream of a life where money doesn’t matter , it’s very hard to imagine a society that is free to pursue happiness without compromising a great part of its time and effort trying to make ends meet.
Since money is limited resource for most of us, learning how to allocate it becomes a crucial issue.
As a society, we tend to think that material possessions are far more important than transitory experiences. Therefore, it’s easy to figure that buying a new car is more important than a concert or a trip to Italy.
A physical goal is more lasting, we think, so we reason that since it’s more lasting it’s gonna make us happy for more time.
Researchers are now suggesting that this kind of reasoning isn’t completely correct. Something that we may all have figured out ourselves already - by experience.
Some of us have already realized that we get quickly used to new acquisitions. We may get a rush of happiness the day we get a new car, a pair of jeans, or that design couch we dreamed of for months.However we soon realize that they don’t matter anymore as much as we thought they would.
This is explained by science, but it’s enough to know that we, as human beings, get used to new situations, bad or good. Some of us may even feel guilty or distressed after a big purchase, for various reasons that can go from what money means to us to the way we handle it.
It’s easy to understand that even if you got the car you’ve always dreamed of, it won’t make you happy for long if you’re compromising your monthly income.. Perhaps even if you can afford it, unexpected feelings may rise after the purchase. You may feel bad because you think you don’t deserve it, or because you can’t deal with the attention it starts drawing toward you.
But let’s say you have a good relationship with money and you can afford your purchases. Even so, it’s very unlikely that any material purchase will sustain a sensation of happiness for long. So once the rush is gone, we look for more sources of happiness.
Usually what happens is that we raise the bar, just like it works with medication. We develop tolerance to happiness, too. We need more of the same in order to maintain the same level of pleasure and satisfaction.
There’s also the comparison component. Once we start buying, gaining or earning stuff, we start comparing to others - how well they are doing in relation to ourselves. This is also explained by psychologists, and it happens from when we are still a child. It’s natural to human beings to compare, but it becomes a problem if we don’t have a clear and healthy system of values.
Needless to say, if your brand new car is the standard you use for self-evaluation, you have a problem that needs to be addressed.
By that we don’t mean that you need to go see a doctor and we don’t want you to feel bad about yourself, but switching your focus from the material goals towards giving more value to your experiences may be a good move.
So far we have seen that money can be related to happiness to a certain degree only. We have seen that due to adaptation, we get used to what money can buy and therefore we tend to look for more in order to keep satisfaction.
If we get used to physical, material things, and if we need more in order to feel happy, it may make sense that new experiences are what we should be looking for. That car will be there for a long time, consuming gas and money, and showing you that it wasn’t enough.
Doesn’t it make sense to invest on a trip to a place that will provide you with new feelings (weather, food, sights), knowledge (history, languages, stories) and perhaps most importantly, perspective (looking at your life from a different point of view)?
Again, we’re not saying here that purchases are bad, and that you shouldn’t get that new car you so much want.It’s just a matter of realizing that the happiness of material purchases decreases over time, while experiences become an intrinsic part of our identities.
We may think that a car, or a pair of jeans, or a designer couch are related to our identities, but in fact we soon realize they are separate things. Once we realize our experiences are part of us, that we are the sum of all our experiences, we are ready to make a move.
Experiences get us more connected to other people and to ourselves. They make us more human than products. You’re more likely to get connected to someone you met in Paris rather than with someone else who bought the same iPhone7.
Also, we tend to be more negative when comparing goods than we are comparing experiences. We actually tend more to share experiences rather than comparing them.
This personal shift from a material-focused lifestyle to one that emphasizes experience would have a huge impact on society as a whole: from companies that would realize the importance of vacation and maternity leave to governments that would build more parks and cultural centers.
Researchers are just saying what we already know in our hearts, right? It makes a lot of sense that experiences are more valuable than material possessions.
Do you agree?
